Life can be like that with Sarah Reeve

[Sarah]

Arrived at a busy pub near Wimbledon dressed as a tennis ball.
I got served straight away....

[Sarah]

SALE
50% off all medieval punishment items.
Hurry while stocks last....

[Sarah]

This is going to sound big headed but does anyone have an XXXL size hat I can borrow?....

[Sarah]

I recently changed my job, I now sell missing parts to Manx cats - it’s retail work....

[Sarah]

The other day an old woman knocked on my door and asked if I would like my palm read. I said I don't have a palm, but would a Yucca work?

[Sarah]

In the spirit of Wimbledon fortnight I bought a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them.
It suggested that I halve the strawberries, dust with icing sugar, and pile cream on top.
A word to the wise - pile cream tastes disgusting.

[Sarah]

I've got a new hobby. A couple of days a week I spend two hours bellringing. Some people find it an odd thing to do with your time, but I find it very therapeutic…..
However, the bus driver seems less keen… ..

[Sarah]

Supermarkets are selling butter for the over 40’s and under 60’s - it’s a middle age spread....

[Sarah]

After his death a man found himself in hell, and the devil was a woman who absolutely hated men.
She looked him up and down and said 'as far as I'm concerned the root of all evil is the penis, men are ruled by it and they are much easier to control without it.
Here in hell we cut off all penises according to the job the man's father did'
He asked her what she meant and she explained 'If your father was a carpenter, we saw it off. If he was a welder, we burn it off You get the picture right?
With an evil glint in her eye she moved closer and said 'Now what job did your father do?'
The man began to relax a little and smiled as he said 'my father made lollipops'....


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[Sarah]

Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine....