Pat Ritter. Books

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'Closing The Gap' - Page 25:

EFFECTIVE MOTIVATION THROUGH ENCOURAGEMENT OF INDEPENDENCE
The basic message of this chapter is simple. If we, as parents, create an effective family environment, then our children will grow to be self-motivated adults.
One of the most difficult decisions for parents to make is when to ‘let go’ of their children and encourage independence.
In their early years our children are totally dependent on us. We feed them, clothe them and give them all they need. Then from about two years of age they show that they have a mind of their own.
They demand a certain degree of independence and the difficult thing in parenting is to encourage that independence while making sure that they come to no harm.
When a bird hatches out of its egg, its mother searches for food and feeds her chick until it is old enough to fly from its nest. If we don’t prepare our children to ‘fly from our nest’ they will become dependent upon us. In other words, they will get so used to others thinking and acting for them that they become incapable of filling an independent role in society. They become incapable of motivating themselves.
Stories abound in English literature of parents giving their children everything they physically desired. These children were not encouraged to acquire what they wanted by their own efforts.
They were given everything that they wanted by their well-intentioned parents. The message that these children actually received is ‘you do as I want you to do and I will look after you’. This message breeds dependence, and failure usually follows. The children are then considered to be irresponsible and ungrateful. This is a situation in which everyone loses.
We also find that if we try to keep them dependent when they wish to be independent of us, we incite rebellion. If dependence is not given when rebellion occurs, we have conflict. So we’re in a dilemma for which there is no easy solution.
My son presented us with a dilemma when he was two years old. He wanted to fill his own cup from the jug. If I allowed him to pour, he would make a mess and if I didn’t, how would he learn? Needless to say, he learnt to pour at an early age.
We want them to be independent but if we let go of them too soon, they may not be capable of handling themselves in the outside world. What I am saying is that we should sit down and consider how best to assist our children’s path towards independence. By ‘assist’ I mean how to help them to help themselves, not giving things to them. In fact independence in some things should be encouraged at all times even when our children are young.
Obviously if young children can’t tie their shoelaces you must do it for them, but there comes a time when you should ask them to try to do it themselves otherwise they might want you to tie them up even when they are physically capable of doing it themselves.
What we must do is choose the time when they are ready to learn then encourage them to want to learn how to tie up their shoelaces.
When they do learn, smile at them, hug them, tell them that they are very clever and what good children they are as well. They will smile back and be happy. They will feel good. They have achieved something and success, even in this small task, is important.
This is a very simple concept but it applies right throughout their lives. We know we cannot sit for their exams, nor can we learn for them, but we can help them to learn for themselves. Let me give you a personal example of how a parent can help his child to become more independent.
It was suggested by my mother that my daughter (then aged 6) stay a few days with her during the school holidays. When my wife and I first heard this we didn’t think that our daughter would want to be apart from us, even for a night.
Then we gave it some thought. What we were really saying was that we didn’t want her to be away from us.
Naturally we felt uneasy about our daughter being away from home but then we realised that we were only concerned with our feelings and that the experience of staying with her grandparents would actually assist her to become more independent.
We decided to let our daughter make the decision and to our surprise she wanted to go. To us that meant our daughter was ready to go and holding her back would have only encouraged dependence?
Even though I realised this, it was still very hard not let her go. I think those few days were far harder on us than they were on her. In fact I know they were because she had a great time while we worried about her. By conquering our fears, we allowed her to grow.
What is being emphasized here is that it is not easy to let go but when you do let go and see the results, it is worth it. If you don’t let go, the results will not bring you, or your children, happiness.
In fact the very things that you have tried to avoid will probably eventuate. So you must let go. It is just a matter of when. If you let go too soon, you’ve got to be prepared to pick them up, put them back on their feet and send them off again. You cannot keep them dependent on you. That will only lead to failure, for you as a parent and for your children as individuals.
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'Closing The Gap' - Page 26:

MAXIMIZE MOTIVATORS AND MINIMIZE DE-MOTIVATORS
Recognition, a history of success, an appropriate amount of independence, a secure relationship with parents, being treated as a valued individual and an important member of the family, as well as the ability and authority to make decisions about one’s own life are all motivating factors.
These are the factors that determine whether the quality of his work is to be ‘just enough’ to keep him out of trouble or really first class. However these factors must be built upon a strong foundation. A strong foundation is where there are no de-motivating factors present.
De-motivating factors are those which cause the student to be diverted from reaching his goal. For example even a well motivated student trying his best can be driven to distraction by the noise of a lawn mower just outside his window. Each individual student will have his own de-motivators.
Find out what de-motivates your children and work with them to minimize the distraction. Interruptions, noise, lack of suitable study facilities and equipment, lack of privacy and even continual changes in family routines can be de-motivators.
Parents can effectively motivate their children by creating an environment where motivating factors are abundant and de-motivating factors are scarce. By providing such an environment they will also be strengthening their family’s relationships.
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'Closing The Gap' - Page 27:

CHAPTER 6
HOW TO INFLUENCE YOUR CHILDREN CONSTRUCTIVELY
It is important that you, as a parent, consider the way you currently influence your children. All parents influence their children every time they have contact with them.
Even a lack of contact can have an impact. If you are a parent you cannot escape influencing your children’s behaviour. Therefore the question to ask yourself is simply, ‘am I predominately a positive or a negative influence on my children?’
To answer this question, look at the behaviour of your children. If you are not happy with their behaviour, then it is time to consider changing the way you influence them.

EACH CHILD IS AN INDIVIDUAL
It is important to realise that all children are very much individuals in their own right. They are not copies of anyone. Two children placed in exactly the same situation may well behave differently. One may choose to react positively while the other may choose to react negatively. Children faced with the same choices often take different paths.
We may be trying to influence our child to behave in a certain way but he may react with behaviour that is the opposite of what we want. This is because all of us choose how we will behave in any situation. Mr and Mrs Dean found this out by painful experience.
The Deans have two children, Jill and her younger brother, Roger. They live in a comfortable home. Mr Dean has a good managerial job while his wife is involved in a number of charitable organisations.
Jill is their pride and joy. She is a brilliant student, a good athlete and has a lively personality. Roger is the bane of their existence. His parents were unable to understand his behaviour as both children had been brought up in exactly the same way. His scholastic achievement was poor and he was not interested in any sport.
Roger had chosen to react differently to Jill partly because he was jealous of Jill’s accomplishments and the resultant praise she received from her parents. He felt that he could not compete with her so he subconsciously chose to be noticed by being different.
Roger was certainly noticed but not in a way that was doing him or his parents any good. He had already come to the notice of the local police. Getting off this treadmill would require a change in behaviour in both himself and his parents. The Deans would not be able to make progress with Roger until they recognized him as an individual, with strengths and weaknesses of his own.
If you have more than one child and they all react positively to your influence, then there is no need to change. If however one of your children is reacting negatively, then you need to examine the way in which you interact with that child.
By changing the way you influence him, you can encourage him to change his behaviour. By influencing his behaviour you can bring about a change in attitude.
The way we behave is something that we have learnt. When we realise this, we can encourage our child to unlearn destructive behaviours and replace them with constructive behaviours. This is often a difficult and painful process but it can be done.
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'Closing The Gap' - Page 28:

FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE CHILDREN
Perhaps the biggest way we can influence our children is with our own behaviour. We are the most significant people in our children’s lives. Other significant people include their teachers, their friends, their grandparents and other relatives.
But none of these people have more power to influence them than their own parents. Some parents, because of work and other pressures, do not take advantage of this influence. For example, Roger’s father was surprised and shocked to realise that he spent less than 10 minutes per week in quality time with his son.
Because of lack of contact with his father, Roger had decided that he wasn’t worth his father’s attention. This wasn’t the message that Mr Dean consciously decided to send to his son but nevertheless, that was what Roger received.
The time that we spend with our children and the way we interact with them, constantly sends messages to our children about how much we value them. Every human being wants to be treated with basic human dignity.
If we are too busy to spend time with our children or if we continually send them negative messages (whether it is done intentionally or not), then we should not be surprised if they react negatively.
We can change a child’s negative reaction if we change the way we react to them. This can then help to change the way they react to us. It is not possible to wipe out the past. It is possible to discuss it, admit to mistakes on both sides and to learn from it.
As we attempt to do this, we should be careful not to concentrate on too narrow a front such as success at school. Although school is important, if we concentrate on this exclusively, we will be doing our children a disservice perhaps even setting them up to fail. This is because we are all ‘whole’ people with many facets to our being. Our emotional, physical and social development are as important as our intellectual development.
If we treat our children as ‘whole’ people and encourage them in a wide range of activities, one of which is study, then they will be more effective in what they do learn than if they were treated as just ‘studying machines’.
Experience in emotional, physical and social activities can actually help children in intellectual activities. For example, experience in developing tactics during a football game or during a game of chess, can make it easier to understand the tactics of ancient battles. A well-rounded person learns from a variety of experiences and is able to transfer his experiences from one situation to another.
It has been my classroom experience that people with a wide range of life experiences are generally quicker to understand and apply complex theories than those who have more limited life experiences.
Parents can exert influence on their children in a variety of ways including:
1.Being role models.
2.Encouraging children to respect their parents’ knowledge and experience.
3.Using parental authority.
4.Using rewards or the promise of rewards.
5.Using punishment or the threat of punishment.
Our influence may not always have the effect we desire. For example, teenage children generally will be less likely than younger children to allow punishment (or rewards) to influence their behaviour.
Influencing by punishment or reward requires parents to continually monitor the behaviour of their child to ensure compliance. If they do not monitor their child’s behaviour, then these two methods lose their effect. As a result it requires more effort for parents to use punishment or reward to influence their teenage children.
It is obviously far more effective if your teenager behaves as you would like him to because he believes that he should, rather than because he will be punished if he gets caught.
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'Closing The Gap' - Page 33:

ENSURING SUCCESS
Planning, implementing and evaluating are an ongoing process.
First you plan, then you put into practice and then you find out how effective you have been. If you feel you can be more effective, you implement changes and of course you then evaluate them. You will find that this is an ongoing process and once you are used to it, it becomes quite natural.
This process can be applied to almost all human endeavours. In fact if you are thinking about a change in any part of your family life even in your career and you wish to increase your chances of success: set your goal, devise a plan to achieve it, implement the plan and then evaluate your progress.
You then feed that information (whether positive or negative), back into your planning stage and start again. This way you are always moving closer to your goal.
You and the members of your family will be more successful in a variety of life experiences, once these basic life skills are mastered. The mutual success of all the members of your family will further strengthen your family relationships.
Now that you have completed this guide, it is time to start thinking of how to use all this information. You must now take action to benefit from what you have read. Here are five basic steps for you to start on:
1.Announce a family meeting and state its purpose.
2.Think about your own personal goals.
3.Develop personal as well as family goals and plans at this meeting.
4.Implement your plans while encouraging others to implement theirs.
5.Evaluate the results.
6.Plan the next meeting.
Announce today that you want to have a family meeting. Tell all members of your family what you want the meeting to achieve and then give it a go.
You have nothing to lose and your family will know that you care enough about them to want to develop stronger family relationships.



REFERENCES:
1.Chapter 1. Organisational Behaviour in Australia.
2.Chapter 6. You and Stress.
3.The Juvenile Aid Bureau is a section of the Queensland Police Service set up to deal with juveniles.
4.Chapter 2. Stress and the Manager.
5.Chapter 7. Behaving – Managing Yourself and Others.
6.Original concept by Albert Ellis.
7.Kindly supplied by Pat Golik.
8.Chapter 5. Women and Fatigue.
9.Chapter 7. The Wellness Workbook.
10.Original ‘diet’ by Norman Vincent Peale.
11.Chapter 2. Supervision in Action.
12.A Handbook of Structured Experiences For Human Relations Training. Edited by J.W.Pfeiffer & J.E.Jones.
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THIS IS THE FINAL PAGE TO 'CLOSING THE GAP'. HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED READING THE CONTENTS. NEW BOOK TOMORROW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT. MUCH APPRECIATED.

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'The Proposition - Page 1:
(A Bundy Quicksilver Mystery)
By Pat Ritter
Published by Pat Ritter on Smashwords
Copyright 2012 Pat Ritter
Thank you for downloading this ebook. It remains the copyright property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents have been produced by the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, or to any actual events or precise locations is entirely coincidental or within the public domain.
Acknowledgements:

Diana Hockley has been good enough to be a beta reader. Thank you Diana, for without your words of wisdom – you kept me on the right track. Diana can contacted on http://www.dianahockley.webs.com/

Victoria Bartley, a fellow member of Pomona Writers Group has also been good enough to be a beta reader. I highly value your feedback. I personally thank you for taking your time to read the first draft of the book.
Front and back covers. I want to express my gratitude to Melissa Smith. Thank you for doing a great job. I know it was difficult at times to get it right – you did it! If you want Melissa to create your next cover, I highly recommend you do: she can be contacted on melissasmithbooks@hotmail.com.

If you have enjoyed reading this book, or if you haven’t enjoyed it, still let me know. I would love to receive your feedback. You can contact me on my e-mail: patritter@outlook.com. I’d love to receive your feedback.


Pat Ritter
Author/Self Publisher


http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/pat48.

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'Click Go The Shears' - Page 2:

Chapter 1

‘What have you done?’ Hannah shouted when Joe told his story. He’d changed identity to now become Joe Gibson instead of Joe Ryan as she’d known him. The real Joe Gibson changed clothes with him to take his place when police came to arrest him for inciting the shearers to go on strike. The real Joe Gibson arrested as Joe Ryan and the real Joe Ryan changed his identity to now become Joe Gibson. Hannah couldn't believe his words.
‘This may sound confusing to both of you but I’m now Joe Gibson. Not Joe Ryan. We changed clothes and he took my place. They were going to arrest me. I’d never see you again if I went to prison.’ Joe pleaded.
‘What happened to Joe. The other Joe – I mean.’ Hannah asked, confused, her temper slowly subsided, breathing slower to try and understand his story.
‘Constable Fitzgerald arrested him.’ Joe explained.
‘You can’t change your name. Just like that!’ Ma shocked to hear what Joe had done.
‘Do you want me to go to prison? He gave me his papers and everything I need to change to his name.’ His voice raised. He reached inside his coat, extracted papers and placed them on the kitchen table.
‘He’s a brave man to go in your place. A brave man indeed.’ Ma quoted. ‘This is not right. You can’t be someone you’re not. What happens if something goes wrong? You can’t stay here. I don’t want police coming around here. I can’t lie to them or anyone else.’ She answered sternly. Her face set in stone.
‘I’ll go then. What about you Hannah. Do you want me to go?’
‘I still love you. It’s not your ring any longer. Is it? You’ve changed Joe! I tried to see you at the camp when you were on strike and each time turned away not knowing how you were or if still alive. Honestly Joe, I don’t know!’ She sobbed.
Joe moved to her and placed his arm around her shoulders. ‘Don’t worry. I will not bother either of you again. You keep the ring as a token of our love. I’ll move on.’
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'Click Go The Shears' - Page 3:

‘What about the other Joe. He’s in jail and no doubt will go to prison because of you and what you’ve done.’ Ma expressed in a stern angry voice. Disappointment covered her face. ‘I think it’s a good thing you leave Joe,’ her voice quivered. She stood and left the kitchen.
‘Here is your ring Joe,’ Hannah unclipped the necklace and handed both the necklace and ring to him. ‘I hope you find what you’re looking for.’ She sobbed, turned and walked away.
Joe scooped the papers from the kitchen table, gathered his things and left. He decided to cool down and think about the consequences of what his friend did. Relief washed over him knowing he wasn’t going to prison for he believed in his heart he did the right thing by his fellow shearers. Something needed to be done to make work conditions better and improve wages. Although ‘The Great Shearers Strike of 1891’ failed, it would go down in Australian history as an event to change conditions for his fellow shearers, he thought walking from Ma’s home.
His mind recalled the previous five months. Each moment thinking of different ways to convince his fellow shearers to keep going with their fight for justice. Alas, in the end even Joe gave up. Then his best mate Joe Gibson visited him in his tent to say the police were on their way to arrest him.
Joe Gibson decided to change identity and go in his place. They switched clothes and Joe Gibson handed Joe Ryan his identity papers and told him from that moment on he would be Joe Gibson and not Joe Ryan. Shortly afterwards he left the tent and arrested by Constable Fitzgerald, the police officer assigned to arrest Joe Ryan.
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'The Year That Never Was' - Page 4:

Nat and Martha agreed to Joe’s idea to travel with them to Brisbane after shearing completed. Joe worked from daylight until dark through the shearing period. This time taking half the time to shear the sheep because of overhead shearing equipment with machine driven hand pieces instead of hand shearing. Hannah arranged tickets for travel on the train from Cunnamulla to Brisbane.
Beginning first week in June they boarded the steam train at Cunnamulla Railway Station. A board smile spread across her face. She leaned over kissed Joe on the lips, ‘I love you.’ Joe smiled, returned the kiss.
Pulling out of Cunnamulla Railway Station Hannah said to Joe, ‘I’ve never travelled by train this far west. When I was eighteen years old, went to Brisbane to school was the last time I travelled by train. Such a long time ago.’ She pondered. ‘Do you think we’ll stop at Coongoola Railway Siding to catch up with Daisy, Desi, Keith and Little Daisy?’ She asked.
‘I hope so. I think the train stops for water to keep the steam going.’ Joe answered.
Martha and Nat sat across from Joe and Hannah in their carriage. Most of the train filled with passengers excited to be journeying from the final stop west to the first stop in Brisbane. A loud whistle sounded indicating the train about to start their journey. A journey for the next couple of days stopping at Railway Stations with Refreshment Rooms for passengers to partake of refreshments on their journey east.
Leaving Cunnamulla Railway Station they commenced their journey. After about twenty minutes Hannah said to Joe. ‘Look Joe. The place Billy Wells held the stagecoach up the morning I returned to school. How life has changed. If Mr Shirley hadn’t been a passenger on the stagecoach.’ Hannah stopped to reflect about this life changing event. Mr Shirley started her career as a school teacher in Cunnamulla. ‘My life would’ve been different. I’d never have found you.’ Her eyes sparkled with joy.
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