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Monty Python

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laughter is the best medicine BOBBYBOY

Postby bobbyboy » Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:29 pm

:wink :wink :wink

MY MATE IS AN ALCOHOLIC AND HAS STARTED DRINKING '' BRAKE FLUID ''
HOWEVER,HE ASSURES ME HE CAN STOP ANY TIME.

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

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Re: Monty Python

Postby deanyido » Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:47 pm

laugh laugh a guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over a bar which reads:
CHEESEBURGER £1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH £2.50
HANDJOB £10.00
checking his wallet for the necessary payment,he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three
exceptionally attractive women serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.
"yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile,"can i help you? "
"i was wondering ",whispers the man,"are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"yes ",she purrs,"i am."
the man replys"well wash your hands,i want a cheeseburger." laugh laugh

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Re: Monty Python

Postby deanyido » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:31 am

:love :love just got 15 valentines cards!its left me completly breathless.
that security guard at clintons gave quite a chase! :love :rotfl

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Re: Monty Python

Postby deanyido » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:42 am

:applause :rotfl little johnny ran out to a field his pa was plowing to report,"there's a strange man at the house.i dunno
what he wants."
"son,"the father told him."if it's the landlord,he wants his rent.if it's the banker,he's come to foreclose the mortgage.
And if it's a traveling salesman,you run home as fast as your legs will carry you and sit in your maw's lap till i get there!" :rotfl :neernerneener

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Re: Monty Python

Postby deanyido » Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:09 am

laugh a women rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie.the amazed women asked if she got 3 wishes.
the genie said,"nope,sorry,three wish genies are a storybook myth.i'm a one-wish genie.so...what'll it be?"

the women did not hesitate.she said,"i want peace in the middle east.see this map?
i want these countries to stop fighting with each and want all the arabs to love the jews and americans and vice versa.
it will bring about world peace and harmony."

the genie looked at the map and exclaimed."lady,be reasonable.these countries have been at war for thousands of years.
i'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.i'm good but not that good! i dont think it can be done.
make another wish but please be reasonable."

the women thought for a minute and said,"well,iv'e never been able to find the right man.you know-one that's considerate and fun,
romantic,likes to cook and help with the house cleaning,is good in bed,and gets along with my family,doesn't watch sports all the time,
and is faithful.that is what i wish for...a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said,"LET ME SEE THE FU*KING MAP AGAIN." :rotfl :rotfl laugh

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Re: Monty Python

Postby bobbyboy » Thu Feb 16, 2012 10:32 pm

:shock:
:shock:
:shock:
:shock: JEWISH DIVORCE :confused

A JEWISH DAUGHTER TOLD HER MOTHER SHE WANTED A DIVORCE AND EXPLAINS THE REASON BEING IS HER ' VAGINA ' HAS BECOME THE SIZE OF A 50PENCE PIECE AND THAT HER HUSBAND JUST WANTS SEX AFTER SEX AFTER SEX.SHE EXPLAINS WHEN THEY GOT MARRIED IT WAS THE SIZE OF A 5PENCE PIECE.
HER MOTHER SAYS '' YOU'RE MARRIED TO A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE BUSINESSMAN----YOU LIVE IN AN 8 BEDROOM MANSION----YOU DRIVE A £350,000 FERRARI----YOU GET A £3,000 A WEEK ALLOWANCE AND YOU TAKE 6 VACATIONS A YEAR AND YOU --WANT TO THROW ALL THAT AWAY OVER 45PENCE''?


NOW THAT IS A JEWISH MOTHER

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Re: Monty Python

Postby gonzo » Sun Feb 19, 2012 5:08 pm

:joker
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