Re: Pat Ritter. Books
Posted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:59 pm
'Closing The Gap' - Page 21:
CHAPTER 5
HOW TO MOTIVATE YOUR CHILDREN CONSTRUCTIVELY
How parents throughout the ages have wished that they could wave a magic wand and motivate their children to achieve what they wanted them to achieve?
My parents tried to motivate me to study during my school days but to no avail. It wasn’t through lack of effort on their part that I wasn’t motivated, but through lack of skill. What they didn’t realise was that effective motivation comes from within the person.
EFFECTIVE MOTIVATION COMES FROM WITHIN
Motivation cannot be transferred from one person to another, no matter how well intentioned the attempt may be.
Parents who rely on force to motivate their children are treading on shaky ground. They can force outward compliance such as forcing the child to sit and study for 2 hours a day, but they cannot control the quality of work that the child does during this time.
They can make sure their child does his assignments on time but they cannot make him do his best. He has to want to do that. Parents simply can’t force their children to do quality work, however they can influence them so that they want to do quality work. This is effective motivation for it is self motivation.
The emphasis in this chapter will be on creating a climate where the child is encouraged to motivate himself.
The single most important part of successful motivation is to realize that it is a personal force. It springs from the needs and desires of an individual. A need or desire cannot forcibly be imposed by another person. Therefore to succeed in motivating another person, you have to encourage or create the desire and then let that person motivate themselves. Let me give you a personal example.
My wife and I gave our daughter her first bicycle on her fifth birthday. It was a very exciting time and as I look back at it now, all the excitement was ours. In the following few weeks we ‘motivated’ her and ‘taught’ her how to ride. But despite all our efforts, she continually fell off, got hurt and cried her eyes out.
We couldn’t understand her behaviour as she was well co-ordinated in other physical activities. I even remember threatening (or should I say motivating) her by saying I would give her bike to someone else who could ride it. The bike eventually went to the shed and we gave up ‘motivating’ her.
Some months later, my daughter came to me and asked if she could learn to ride her bike again. In a state of mild shock, I agreed and in less than 10 minutes she had learnt to ride. She had made the decision herself that she wanted to learn, and she did. She still fell off her bike but this time she wanted to get back on.
My daughter learnt to ride her bike when she had a desire to do so. She didn’t learn when we had a desire for her to learn.
If your child has no desire to do his best at school, you can’t motivate him to do so. You can increase his need to do well by showing him that he will achieve something that he values, if he puts more effort into his school work.
He will then motivate himself to remove the obstacles which lie in his path. To motivate him this way, you have to know what excites or challenges him. This takes time and communication skills but if students really want to achieve their goals, they can do so even in spite of bad teachers and poor conditions.
Did you know that there are available over 100 different books in the English language from which students could learn effective study techniques? Yet most students, even some who know how to study effectively, choose to study in an inefficient manner. These students then blame either these study techniques, their parents, their teachers or even their school for their lack of success.
TO PURCHASE THIS BOOK: CLICK HERE: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/52861.
CHAPTER 5
HOW TO MOTIVATE YOUR CHILDREN CONSTRUCTIVELY
How parents throughout the ages have wished that they could wave a magic wand and motivate their children to achieve what they wanted them to achieve?
My parents tried to motivate me to study during my school days but to no avail. It wasn’t through lack of effort on their part that I wasn’t motivated, but through lack of skill. What they didn’t realise was that effective motivation comes from within the person.
EFFECTIVE MOTIVATION COMES FROM WITHIN
Motivation cannot be transferred from one person to another, no matter how well intentioned the attempt may be.
Parents who rely on force to motivate their children are treading on shaky ground. They can force outward compliance such as forcing the child to sit and study for 2 hours a day, but they cannot control the quality of work that the child does during this time.
They can make sure their child does his assignments on time but they cannot make him do his best. He has to want to do that. Parents simply can’t force their children to do quality work, however they can influence them so that they want to do quality work. This is effective motivation for it is self motivation.
The emphasis in this chapter will be on creating a climate where the child is encouraged to motivate himself.
The single most important part of successful motivation is to realize that it is a personal force. It springs from the needs and desires of an individual. A need or desire cannot forcibly be imposed by another person. Therefore to succeed in motivating another person, you have to encourage or create the desire and then let that person motivate themselves. Let me give you a personal example.
My wife and I gave our daughter her first bicycle on her fifth birthday. It was a very exciting time and as I look back at it now, all the excitement was ours. In the following few weeks we ‘motivated’ her and ‘taught’ her how to ride. But despite all our efforts, she continually fell off, got hurt and cried her eyes out.
We couldn’t understand her behaviour as she was well co-ordinated in other physical activities. I even remember threatening (or should I say motivating) her by saying I would give her bike to someone else who could ride it. The bike eventually went to the shed and we gave up ‘motivating’ her.
Some months later, my daughter came to me and asked if she could learn to ride her bike again. In a state of mild shock, I agreed and in less than 10 minutes she had learnt to ride. She had made the decision herself that she wanted to learn, and she did. She still fell off her bike but this time she wanted to get back on.
My daughter learnt to ride her bike when she had a desire to do so. She didn’t learn when we had a desire for her to learn.
If your child has no desire to do his best at school, you can’t motivate him to do so. You can increase his need to do well by showing him that he will achieve something that he values, if he puts more effort into his school work.
He will then motivate himself to remove the obstacles which lie in his path. To motivate him this way, you have to know what excites or challenges him. This takes time and communication skills but if students really want to achieve their goals, they can do so even in spite of bad teachers and poor conditions.
Did you know that there are available over 100 different books in the English language from which students could learn effective study techniques? Yet most students, even some who know how to study effectively, choose to study in an inefficient manner. These students then blame either these study techniques, their parents, their teachers or even their school for their lack of success.
TO PURCHASE THIS BOOK: CLICK HERE: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/52861.