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19 paddies go to the cinema,the ticket lady asks"why so many tickets?"
mick replies,"the film said 18 or over"

a chemist walked into his shop 2find a man leaning against the wall.
"what's wrong with him?"he asked his assistant,who replied "he came in for cough syrup but i conldn't
find any so i gave him an entire bottle of laxatives." "u idiot"said the chemist "u can't treat a cough
with laxatives" "of course u can"the assistant replied "look at him,he daren't cough now!!

man united stereo for sale.
mint condition,
excellent sound quality,amazing bass,
only problem is the treble is fu**ed.!

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor..
Mick says, "Jesus Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately
and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attract ‘er.....

Have you heard the one about Paddy & Mick who find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police station.
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
and the one about
Paddy in the bathroom and Murphy shouts up to him. "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

well done Gobbo-----like the jokes my fellow mzawfer

keep em coming.....

I SAW A MAN AT THE BEACH YELLING 'HELP, SHARK,HELP'.
I JUST LAUGHED.I JUST KNEW THAT SHARK WASN'T GOING TO HELP HIM.