• View topic - ianwjensen
Login

  • Advertisement

ianwjensen

Some of the humour is corny others not so :scratch -some might be sailing to close to the wind and, or near the knuckle :wink We hope this forum makes you laugh
Forum rules
If any jokes within this forum personally offends please private message your concerns to a forum moderator and the material will be edited accordingly or removed entirely
Thanks
:mz
  • Author
    Message

If you don't laugh.. see a doctor

Postby Earthling » Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:13 am

i was in fits of laughter .. this is quality :lol:

Earthling
 
Cash on hand: Locked
Bank: Locked

Advertisement

Re: If you don't laugh.. see a doctor

Postby lal » Fri Apr 08, 2011 9:23 am

Very :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
lal
mzawfer
mzawfer
 
Posts: 15
Images: 0
Cash on hand: 3.13
Bank: 0.00
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:50 am
Has thanked: 20 times
Have thanks: 8 times
Blog: View Blog (1)
Karma: 0

Stuff

Postby Djody Pieter » Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:06 pm

User avatar
Djody Pieter
Support
Support
 
Posts: 39
Cash on hand: 0.00
Bank: 10.00
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:16 pm
Location: crawley
Has thanked: 61 times
Have thanks: 28 times
Blog: View Blog (1)
Karma: 10

The Knack!

Postby steveizy » Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:27 pm


:mexican
User avatar
steveizy
Admin
Admin
 
Posts: 325
Cash on hand: 679,700.00
Bank: 6,620,696.50
Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2010 9:15 pm
Has thanked: 130 times
Have thanks: 431 times
Highscores: 2
Karma: 125

music

Postby Djody Pieter » Sun May 01, 2011 5:54 pm

:thumbsup
User avatar
Djody Pieter
Support
Support
 
Posts: 39
Cash on hand: 0.00
Bank: 10.00
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:16 pm
Location: crawley
Has thanked: 61 times
Have thanks: 28 times
Blog: View Blog (1)
Karma: 10

comdey

Postby Djody Pieter » Sun May 01, 2011 5:54 pm


:joker :rotfl
User avatar
Djody Pieter
Support
Support
 
Posts: 39
Cash on hand: 0.00
Bank: 10.00
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:16 pm
Location: crawley
Has thanked: 61 times
Have thanks: 28 times
Blog: View Blog (1)
Karma: 10

The Arrogance of Authority

Postby wired » Tue May 24, 2011 1:08 pm

dea.png
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
dea.png (159.44 KiB) Viewed 1906 times
:shock:

The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed
out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me !"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On
any land !!
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you
understand ?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA
officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
gertrudis.png
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely
that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

(I just love this part....)
"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"
User avatar
wired
Tech
Tech
 
Posts: 33
Images: 78
Cash on hand: 984.00
Bank: 10.00
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:44 am
Has thanked: 191 times
Have thanks: 50 times
Karma: 5

How many horses

Postby donna » Fri May 27, 2011 1:52 pm

A crocodile is faster than a horse over the first hundred metres. :o
I don't know how many horses it took to find that out :lol:
Danny Bhoy
User avatar
donna
Support
Support
 
Posts: 120
Cash on hand: 1,075.25
Bank: 11.50
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:45 am
Has thanked: 26 times
Have thanks: 127 times
Karma: 20

Wise Words

Postby brillo » Fri May 27, 2011 6:27 pm

A young Swallow was watching her birdie buddies preparing for the long flight south to escape the hardship of the winter months ahead. Perched high up on a tree she watched the flocks feeding in preparation for the long flight ahead. “There’s plenty of time still” she thought to herself.

“I’m going to enjoy some more these hot days, everything is all good there’s still time”

When the sun rose again and covered the land another bright sunny day the Swallow awoke to birdie silence the flocks had departed and had set off south for the gruelling flight, not a Swallow to be found. Alone!
The young Swallow set herself to drinking and feeding and conserving energy in preparation to fly south. She thought when the sun next rose she would head on to a warmer climate.

The Sun broke the horizon and it looked like a promising day for Swallow to start her journey, so off she set flying briskly, happy happy times ahead.
Progress was good initially, but as the day wore on the north westerly breeze made it cold .
At the end of day one the Swallow nested in a barn to await daybreak to continue her journey.

The Day broke, the sky’s was grey and winter had visited overnight, luckily there was enough food to be had and our little swallow prepared for another day ‘on the wing’.
So Swallow took off into the sky once again, flying into a strong gale battling into the elements.
And as swallow continued off into the horizon, the heavens’ opened, and the sky was awash with sleet and snow and still she pushed onwards.
The situation looked bad for swallow, ice forming on her wings coupled with exhaustion; she plummeted out the sky only into crash-landing amongst a field of cows.
Cold exhausted and hurt from the crash-landing our swallow lay doomed to die. When, a passing cow dumped a big cow pat on swallow.
From this point on swallow had been given a lifeline, she felt warmed from the cold weather outside of the pat and as an added bonus she has food as she eats herself out of this pile of crap, lol

A couple of days had past the weather had improved and swallow had recovered enough to continue the migration south. As the sun broke on day three the farmers cat was finishing it nights prowling when he chanced upon a little swallow in a pile of shit “ yummy” so the cat promptly bit the head off our swallow and dragged the rest back to the farmers kitchen . Cause that what cats do
The Moral to this story is :arrow:
ONE: Those who Shit on you are not necessarily your enemy :o
TWO: Those who will get you out of the Shit are not necessarily your friends. :)
THREE IF YOU ARE HAPPY IN SHIT STAY IN IT :lol:
User avatar
brillo
mzawfer
mzawfer
 
Posts: 156
Cash on hand: 99.50
Bank: 11,603.75
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 5:13 pm
Location: Box Hill
Has thanked: 133 times
Have thanks: 124 times
Karma: 5

For Sale lol

Postby jamie nova » Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:17 am

:rotfl
cat4sale.png
User avatar
jamie nova
 
Posts: 5
Cash on hand: 109.50
Bank: 0.00
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:44 pm
Has thanked: 27 times
Have thanks: 1 time
Karma: 0

ianwjensen

Postby bomAtrodo » Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:52 pm

Hello there Morgan check out our unique site http://middlestart.org/forums/member/266835/
bomAtrodo
 
Posts: 3
Cash on hand: Locked
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:41 pm
Location: United States
Has thanked: 0 time
Have thanks: 0 time
Karma: 0

Return to Laughter, the Best Medicine

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron